The Ninja Files: Chronicles of a Ninja Assassin



Chronicles of the Ninja Assassin

By Ellie Murphy


Greetings all and may the spoon be with you. Today begins a series of tales from last year’s Ninja Assassin Tournament. Full disclosure: my memories may have faded or been amplified from the glory of the kill.


Ninja Files

It was a warm October night. Canadian Thanksgiving at Saijo Brianna’s house. Cultural exchange and all that jazz. ALTs were piled into her living room. I sat with my spoon behind my back. Ready.

My target was none other than the notorious assassin, Gahl. I had been contracted (for the going rate of a Mister Donuts donut), by my fellow Fukuyaman, Brianna, to take out this dangerous monster. Spoon at the ready, I waited.

Early in the night, Gahl struck his own target. Driving a spoon into Saijo Sarah’s back, he cackled with monstrous joy at his newest victim. He gloated. I clutched my spoon with glee. This would only make killing him more satisfying.

I let him take a moment to bask in the glory of the kill, even allowing him to tell the others at the party about his scheming. “Ohohoho.” I though with glee. “Your time will come, young Gahl.”


Target eliminated


Truth be told, the actual moment of killing of Gahl is a hazy memory.  But I think that night I learned the true meaning of the Canadian Thanksgiving.

If you’d like to sign up for Ninja Assassin this year, please email Ellie Murphy at by the 29th of August. Also, if you were an assassin last year and would like to tell your story, please email it to Ellie as well!